In my analyses of human interaction (AKA my own life and relationships), I have noticed that a good deal of conflict and trouble comes from people's moods. So sure, everyone is in a good mood sometimes and a bad mood other times. But then there are moody people. These are people who go back and forth between moods pretty often. A lot of times when someone is called "moody" it means their bad moods are particularly bad compared to their good moods. No one has called me moody lately, and I don't think people here even think I'm moody. But I'm frustrated with my own moodiness as of late.
I know I am sometimes moody, and I don't like it. I like consistency, and my moods are far from consistent. I feel bad for my friends when I get easily annoyed or pissed off because I'm in a bad mood. It's not fair to them, and I'm always afraid someday one of my bad moods will actually drive a friend away.
Plenty of my friends and people I know are moody also. Usually it seems people are wary of moody people; no one wants to say the wrong thing to a moody person when they are in a bad mood. Girls are often accused of being more moody than guys. My own experience says that's not necessarily the case, as I know PLENTY of moody guys.
So my question is... what makes people moody? And where do moods come from? Some people say that biology can affect your moods: obviously some people are crankier when they are tired or get moody when PMSing. So maybe that's part of it. Some people say you choose how you feel. When something bad happens, you can choose to be pissed off or mopey or to learn from it and move on. I somewhat agree with that. I think you do eventually make a choice of dwelling on something or moving on, but I don't think we choose our feelings most of the time.
It seems like usually when people talk about "moodiness" they are implying that it's a moody person's own fault that they are moody, that they could do something to change it. Here I see there are two sides to the moodiness coin: your emotions, and your outward expression of your emotions. Maybe we don't choose our emotions, but we choose how and how much we express them. Everyone seems to imply moody people need to learn to control and express their emotions better. There is probably some truth to that, but I have a problem with it too: it's not good to bottle up your emotions. Are we not telling moody people to be less honest when we tell them to express less? Or to bottle things up more? Ug.
So, my fundamental question: Why are some people moodier than other people? And is this choice (and so changeable) or not? So, therefore, can I somehow become less moody?
(This is NOT a rhetorical question, folks. I expect some thoughts from you all! =)
5 comments:
I don't think moods are a choice. I think it's biological/background (nature and/or nurture), which is to say the sum of someone's personality. I don't think our personalities are a choice, and moodiness is part of our personalities. Moodiness can also express itself in different ways. Co swings between moods daily, whereas I have much longer swings--but our highs and lows are fairly comparable. I also would agree with the fact that guys are just as moody as girls, but I think it's more socially acceptable to be moody as a girl than as a guy, probably because of the sexual stereotype.
I support the theory that all we can do is control how we express our moods (not our moods themselves). I don't believe curbing the expression of our bad moods means being less honest, it's just a matter of courtesy and sociability. The honesty argument could be made to defend any kind of rude behavior. "I'm sorry it hurts your feelings when I call you fat, but I'm just being honest." Bullshit, you're just being an asshole.
At the same time, I think those on the other end need to take people's moods into consideration. Courtesy always cuts both ways. Friends who are true friends will always forgive a little moodiness.
Hmm, tough questions. I think people seem to view moodiness in only one light, that is, people only remember the bad moods, but I'd take a moody person over a perpetually upset person any day! I think everyone has good and bad moods at about the same ratio, and maybe the biggest difference is that "moody" people tend to be more expressive with their emotions. The biggest advantage I can think of - without much thought - to not being moody is that it's maybe a social courtesy, other than that, I can't really see why it's all that bad for people to sometimes be up, and sometimes be down.
And, if you're going to be less moody, pick the happy side :)
Hmmmm....Very Interesting.....
I agree. Guys are very moody, but we call them "bitchy" or "pissy" when they are, which is not cool! I am moody and you are moody. Jo is moody, Dave is moody. That isn't bad. Sometimes pouty or whiny is bad, but we need to cut people slack. They cut us slack...and if they don't then they should. Ups and downs are part of life. Being down in the dumps ( me and D for three to 6 wks)or really confused and frustrated (sub dio's chaotic situation) are par for the course.
Love you oodles!
I know you aren't a part of the VC contest, but update your damn blog! Is this what it felt like watching the same "Masturbation" post day after day? I wasn't even READING blogs then. Now I have to save face. Update Bee-otch!!!
cohen van court, it has been SEVEN DAYS since i updated my blog. you, my dear, cannot possibly complain about my slowness of updating during finals, when you went for 1 month+ without updating. please!
Post a Comment