One of my closest (if not the closest) friends here at the Dame is my roommate Bharti. I was very worried coming into graduate housing: given my horrible roommate experience my freshman year of college, three random roommates seemed like a gamble I was doomed to lose. But thank God it did not work out that way. Instead, I have three roommates who I love, and we all get along wonderfully. Bharti is one of these roommates.
Besides being close as friends, Bharti and I relate extremely well. It's almost uncanny how much we think alike and how similar our lives and interests are. We have had similar experiences, similar struggles, similar EVERYTHING it seems. I can't even begin to ennumerate the hundreds of similarities between us. We both love to dance and we both love to cook. We relate to our families in simliar ways. We have the same views on guys most of the time. We look for the same things in friends. We get excited about the same things and hurt by the same things. She has a group of friends in India just like my group of girls from Brown. The list goes on and on. We've known each other for only a few months, but we relate so well it's strangely like we've known each other for a very long time. Every day we are chatting and find new ways we think alike.
This is all fine, but what makes it most uncanny is how very different are lives are. Bharti is from Bombay, India. She just came to the United States 15 months ago for her program here at Notre Dame. I'm an American from Berwyn, Pennsylvania. She worked in business, and now is doing her MBA. I'm in sociology and would never want to set foot in corporate America. She's 27. I'm 22. She lived with her parents until she moved here last year (at age 26). I haven't lived at home since I left for college when I was 17. She's a not-very-religious Hindu. I'm a decently religious Christian. She's a youngest child. I'm an oldest child. In terms of upbringing and background, we are (quite literally) from opposite ends of the planet.
Circumstances say we shouldn't relate as well as we do. But I think I am more similar to Bharti than almost anyone I've ever met. So, how do two people from opposite sides of the world, from such different backgrounds end up so similar?
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
A brush with God?
My friend Steve (from here at the Dame) says that being at the beach is like an encounter with God for him. He just loves the ocean and the shore, and for him, being there is a spiritual experience. (Needless to say, moving to South Bend from LA has put a crimp in his style as far as being near the ocean). This has gotten me thinking about what experiences are like that for me.
A few Saturdays ago I had a brunch at my house with about 15 guests. I loved cooking and having people over, and I just really enjoyed the whole thing. When everyone left, I realized that there's a lot of diversity of people I have come to know. Of my guests, there were 4 white people, 4 black people, 4 Indian people, 1 Asian, and 1 Hispanic. People mingled and mixed, and made new friends. That night was a big Bhangra party (a kind of Indian dance) so the Indians were full force advertising while at brunch. Lo and behold, that evening several of our white guests and black guests showed up for the Bhangra. It was fabulous to see.
I am getting more settled with friends here. I've been pulled into a pre-established group of friends, more or less. What group? The second year Indian MBA students. (And by Indian, I do not mean Indian American, but came here from India a year or two ago for school). I got pulled in by my roommate Bharti. They feed me home cooked Indian food, they think it's hilarious I own Indian music, they invite me to parties for Indian holidays, and they are teaching me Hindi. I love it.
In any case, the point of this is that I have realized just how much I love being in diverse groups and having friends from other cultures. I just feel at home there. I can't quite put my finger on why completely, but I think part of it is that I love seeing boundaries crossed that aren't usually crossed in our society. For me, that situation is one where I can say I feel that "brush with God" that Steve talks about.
At the Bhangra party a few weeks ago, we danced Bhangra for three or four hours straight. (Bhangra is high energy dancing that involves a lot of jumping). I sat down for maybe five minutes total the entire evening. Afterwards my friends were like, "Don't you get tired? How can you dance without sitting the entire night?" "I don't know, I just don't realize I'm tired while I'm dancing."
Last night two of my Indian guy friends and I went to the Landing, a local club where they have salsa dancing Thursday nights. I have been to the Landing several times, and I love it. We danced salsa, merengue, and various other improvisations for several hours. My friend Prem said to me while we were dancing, "You never get tired. You should always come here with two guys, so they can take turns resting while you dance."
Dancing is my second brush. I sometimes feel I could dance forever without sitting down. I don't know what I like about it, but I always have. Pre-college, I had my dance classes I took and my classes I taught. People knew me as a dancer, even down to my screen name "danserval". In college, I danced some, but mostly I neglected my love for dancing. I don't know how that happened, but I am so happy I have gotten to dance so much more lately. Dancing is my second brush, a time when I feel I'm on a different plane or in a different world. Hans Bos said, "While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance."
So diverse groups and dancing: the two things for me I can say are "spiritual experiences" or whatever you want to call them.
This blog entry was probably more for me than for you. And it's more personal "bare my soul" than I usually like to put on my blog. But hey, all I can say is that I don't think my sentiments are just my own personal quirks. I think they probably have a place in the larger human narrative. Surely, the world would be a better place if we all felt at home in diverse groups of people. I'm not sure how to tie dancing in as nicely, but I think we all would be a little better if we got to dance a little more.
A few Saturdays ago I had a brunch at my house with about 15 guests. I loved cooking and having people over, and I just really enjoyed the whole thing. When everyone left, I realized that there's a lot of diversity of people I have come to know. Of my guests, there were 4 white people, 4 black people, 4 Indian people, 1 Asian, and 1 Hispanic. People mingled and mixed, and made new friends. That night was a big Bhangra party (a kind of Indian dance) so the Indians were full force advertising while at brunch. Lo and behold, that evening several of our white guests and black guests showed up for the Bhangra. It was fabulous to see.
I am getting more settled with friends here. I've been pulled into a pre-established group of friends, more or less. What group? The second year Indian MBA students. (And by Indian, I do not mean Indian American, but came here from India a year or two ago for school). I got pulled in by my roommate Bharti. They feed me home cooked Indian food, they think it's hilarious I own Indian music, they invite me to parties for Indian holidays, and they are teaching me Hindi. I love it.
In any case, the point of this is that I have realized just how much I love being in diverse groups and having friends from other cultures. I just feel at home there. I can't quite put my finger on why completely, but I think part of it is that I love seeing boundaries crossed that aren't usually crossed in our society. For me, that situation is one where I can say I feel that "brush with God" that Steve talks about.
At the Bhangra party a few weeks ago, we danced Bhangra for three or four hours straight. (Bhangra is high energy dancing that involves a lot of jumping). I sat down for maybe five minutes total the entire evening. Afterwards my friends were like, "Don't you get tired? How can you dance without sitting the entire night?" "I don't know, I just don't realize I'm tired while I'm dancing."
Last night two of my Indian guy friends and I went to the Landing, a local club where they have salsa dancing Thursday nights. I have been to the Landing several times, and I love it. We danced salsa, merengue, and various other improvisations for several hours. My friend Prem said to me while we were dancing, "You never get tired. You should always come here with two guys, so they can take turns resting while you dance."
Dancing is my second brush. I sometimes feel I could dance forever without sitting down. I don't know what I like about it, but I always have. Pre-college, I had my dance classes I took and my classes I taught. People knew me as a dancer, even down to my screen name "danserval". In college, I danced some, but mostly I neglected my love for dancing. I don't know how that happened, but I am so happy I have gotten to dance so much more lately. Dancing is my second brush, a time when I feel I'm on a different plane or in a different world. Hans Bos said, "While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance."
So diverse groups and dancing: the two things for me I can say are "spiritual experiences" or whatever you want to call them.
This blog entry was probably more for me than for you. And it's more personal "bare my soul" than I usually like to put on my blog. But hey, all I can say is that I don't think my sentiments are just my own personal quirks. I think they probably have a place in the larger human narrative. Surely, the world would be a better place if we all felt at home in diverse groups of people. I'm not sure how to tie dancing in as nicely, but I think we all would be a little better if we got to dance a little more.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
I knew this day would come
Today at the gym, I dropped my discman. This isn't a big deal. I've dropped it tons of times. It's made it through some pretty hefty stuff, considering I got it sometime around my freshman year of high school, and I've dropped it countless times since then. It's also been through many, many sandy places (mostly days on the beach and the desert of Morocco), and managed to come out okay. Sure, it's a little scratched up on the outside, and it doesn't have 45 second skip protection (I think it has 5 second skip protection). It can't go with me running, but it can make it when I'm on the eliptical or the bike at the gym. (And it's been there, hundreds of times probably). It's tried and true, and doing pretty well for its age.
But today, the discman had enough. It finally threw in the towel, after nine long years. It was a very sad moment when I realized the "OPEN" (as in, it's not recognizing the CD) was not going to go away. I was attached to my beat-up-but-plowing-through-it-all discman.
So the era is over. When I think of the use I got out of that discman, I'm happy. I got some bang for my buck on that purchase. My discman lasted a long time, and it wasn't beloved because it was snazzy and cool. It was beloved because it did what it was supposed to do (play CDs), and it stood the test of time. But I've been thinking: wouldn't it be cool if this is how it worked with everything we bought or owned? Then there'd be less clutter in our lives (on many levels). That would be some wise and sustainable living.
But today, the discman had enough. It finally threw in the towel, after nine long years. It was a very sad moment when I realized the "OPEN" (as in, it's not recognizing the CD) was not going to go away. I was attached to my beat-up-but-plowing-through-it-all discman.
So the era is over. When I think of the use I got out of that discman, I'm happy. I got some bang for my buck on that purchase. My discman lasted a long time, and it wasn't beloved because it was snazzy and cool. It was beloved because it did what it was supposed to do (play CDs), and it stood the test of time. But I've been thinking: wouldn't it be cool if this is how it worked with everything we bought or owned? Then there'd be less clutter in our lives (on many levels). That would be some wise and sustainable living.
Friday, November 05, 2004
The new house and senate
I though you might enjoy a little of my non-research-related-but-still-very-sociological fooling around.
All the stats from here: CNN.com - New Congress more diverse - Nov 5, 2004
First line of the article... "The next Congress will look slightly more like the real America, with more women, Hispanics and blacks, including the first black man to enter the Senate in a quarter century." (I think they need to emphasize the slightly in that, looking at the numbers)
These are the breakdowns on women and minorities in the newly elected Senate and Congress.
The new senate:
14 women
86 men
1 black (democrat)
2 Hispanics (1 democrat, 1 republican)
2 Asians (both democrats)
95 whites
The new house (total 435):
65 women
370 men
40 blacks (all democrats)
23 Hispanics (19 democrats, 4 republicans)
3 Asian Americans (all democrats)
1 Indian American (as in Asian Indian, republican)
368 whites
Clearly there is no race problem or gender equality problem in America anymore, right?
All the stats from here: CNN.com - New Congress more diverse - Nov 5, 2004
First line of the article... "The next Congress will look slightly more like the real America, with more women, Hispanics and blacks, including the first black man to enter the Senate in a quarter century." (I think they need to emphasize the slightly in that, looking at the numbers)
These are the breakdowns on women and minorities in the newly elected Senate and Congress.
The new senate:
14 women
86 men
1 black (democrat)
2 Hispanics (1 democrat, 1 republican)
2 Asians (both democrats)
95 whites
The new house (total 435):
65 women
370 men
40 blacks (all democrats)
23 Hispanics (19 democrats, 4 republicans)
3 Asian Americans (all democrats)
1 Indian American (as in Asian Indian, republican)
368 whites
Clearly there is no race problem or gender equality problem in America anymore, right?
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