Death, heartbreak, and responsibility

Warning: this is potentially a very controversial post!

655,000 Iraqis dead since invasion, study says

The study was done by several PhD researchers at Johns Hopkins School of Public Health. It's disputed because other independent groups put the toll far lower. Groups that have these lower counts rely on media reports to total deaths, and admit these media reports probably overlook some if not most civilian casualties. This study, however, relies on a survey of a sample of over 1,800 Iraqi households for a total of over 12,000 residents. The estimate around 600,000 Iraqis have died in violence, and 31% of those deaths are attributable to coalition forces (as opposed to suicide bombers, insurgents, etc). The rest of the 55,000 deaths are due to much higher rates of heart disease and cancer among Iraqis since the war started. As a sociologist and demographer, I can tell you that the methodology of this study sounds pretty darn good as compared to how other counts are totaled.

In addition to this heartbreaking figure on deaths, we must face the facts that everyone who is anyone--American generals leading the fight in Iraq, independent observers, the international community--says Iraq has slid into a civil war. And add to THAT the fact that the CIA reports America is actually less safe from terrorist threats after invading Iraq.

These facts make me ache inside, and sometimes tears literally well up in my eyes. 600,000 deaths! Civil war! My chest feels so heavy when I think about it, and it makes me so angry! So many innocent Iraqis losing family, homes, possessions, livelihoods, safety... It is unbearable to think about, and it makes me both sad and infuriated, because it could have been avoided.

I hate the lack of accountability, not just for leaders but also for citizens who supported the invasion. I debated and argued with so many people who claimed it was "necessary" or "the right thing to do" or whatever the explanations were. I want the people who were the 60% majority of the American public who supported Bush's invasion of Iraq to feel responsible for those 600,00+ deaths. Yes, our government did this, but only with the support of so many Americans. I also want the people who voted for Bush both in 2000 AND re-elected him 2004 and now don't approve (because more than 50 percent of the popular vote went to him, and now his approval is in the low 30 percent range) to take responsibility. I hate the immaturity of saying "I told you so!" but when I look back my memories are vivid and harsh. The (literally) tens of millions of people around the world who staged protests against the invastion (in Morocco alone one demonstration drew over 1 million people, and there were protests all over the world of that magnitude). The many people who accurately predicted that however quick the invasion went, fighting would last a long time. The evidence from many countries that Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction. The people who asked, "What happens after we get rid of Saddam?" The people who predicted a long fight, and possible civil war. All theis evidence was not secret, but was being broadcast around the globe and around our own American scene, and so much of the government and American people chose not to look, not to listen.

I admit that now I am at a loss, as I think are most people who once were against the war. We presented evidence, we reasoned, we wrote letters, we yelled, we protested, all with one aim: Don't invade Iraq! It's an unjust, illegal war! Now I am left speechless, along with the pacifists, liberals, Democrats, and everyone else who opposed the war. What do we do now? We have created a civil war, and while I so vehemently opposed American pre-emptive action, I also believe we have a responsibility to clean up the mess we have made. Republicans criticize the Democrats for offering no good plan of their own; I think this is because there is no good plan. How do we clean up from a mess we not only opposed getting into but has now slipped into complete chaos and anarchy?

I don't want American citizens to pay for their misjudgement in supporting the war, but I do want people to take responsibility for their votes, their voices, and their arrogance in ignoring those speaking against the invasion (including not just the 40% of Americans but more or less the rest of the entire world). I want people to take so much responsibility it never happens again; that is, no one falls into following rhetoric without examining facts, evidence, international law, and international public opinion. May we never start a mess like this again, and may the American public feel the weight of the 600,000 deaths as if they were our own.

And please, please, I don't care if it's a Democrat or a Republican or a man from Mars: someone find a way to stop the death toll from rising, stop the civil war, and stop the utter destruction that is everyday life in Iraq.

P-ton, aka "Privilege Town"

For my long lost Houston friends, here are some of my friends here in P-ton.

Here are David and Sheherazade, my dear friends and next door neighbors. David is also one of five people in my demography class here and is an urban geographer. Sheherazade is an admissions officer for Princeton. When we are all in town, it's sort of sitcom-like living next door and spending tons of time with each other. David and Sheherazade got married a few weeks ago, and had perhaps the most fund wedding in the history of weddings.

Here are Rania and Elisha, of my demography class as well. Rania is from Egypt. Elisha is from Tupelo, Mississippi, home of the famous annual Oleput celebration. Not only does she have a master's degree in statistics, but she also was Homecoming queen at her high school. You might want to hate her for her beauty and brains, but she's just so darn nice she'll win you over in a second. This picture was taken at Six Flags, the day after we finished our qualifying exam (and the million hours a week for months studying for it).

Here we have Courtney and Alex, a married couple of Rice grads. Courtney is an attorney for the general counsel's office of P-ton. Alex is a seminary student / bodybuilder. He also is the creator of the Original Arnold Schwarzenegger Game, the newest fad going around Princeton. It is fun, fun, fun! They don't always look this scary, but the only pictures I have are from a round of pose-offs from that very game. I have a bunch of other great seminary friends, but sadly no pictures of them.

This Carol Ann MacGregor, more often known as CAM, or sometime C-Mac. She uses the verb "to phone" instead of "to call" because she comes from the fair land of Canada.

Last but not least, here is my boyfriend Samir (and his newest nephew, on the left). He minored in practical jokes while at the University of Chicago getting his statistics degree. He is a marathon runner, yoga expert, and Alias afficionado, amongst his many other talents.

As a bonus, this is my grad housing apartment here in P-town. The complex is called the Butler Apartments. We call them the Butler Projects. They are reminiscent of mobile homes. Come winter, I will have to post a picture of the heating, which has only one vent which blows directly at the front door.

My first sari

Here it is, for David and Sheherazade's wedding last weekend. Despite my best efforts at tying the correct way, in the end it was held up by the traditional Indian binder clip (not shown, the binder clip came after these pictures).

My friends

I think I have some of the best friends ever, objectively speaking. They are fabuous and wonderful and I adore them. When I have a bad day, they send me funny emails and silly cards to cheer me up. When I am having a bad time, they call me morning and evening to see how I am, and they tell me they want to kidnap me to New York City for a fun evening, even if they are super busy and have too much to do themselves. They don't hate me when I don't talk to them for months at a time. They make me laugh and laugh at my silly ideas. They send me the sweetest and most supportive emails ever. They are so amazing, that I feel guilty being sad sometimes. How can I be so selfish as to be sad about something when I have such wonderful people filling up every piece of my life?

My friends give me hope in humanity, as trite as that may sound. My friends all over the country send me emails that are remarkably similar in that they are supportive and caring and full of love, and they all love me so much in all their own ways. Either I have the best taste in friends, or the world really is full of amazing people.

Girl friends are great

Preface: Lori has never hung out with Johnson (name changed to protect the innocent: namely, me.) She barely knows who he is. Conversation over dinner.

"Lori, I have a huge crush on Johnson."
"He likes you."
"He brought me a little violet, in a pot."
"I think he likes you."
"How do you know he's not just a really nice guy?"
"He definitely likes you."
"He could just be a really nice guy doing something for a friend."
"No, he likes you."
"Lori, you have no data to back up that claim."
"He definitely likes you."
"Why do you keep saying that? You have no idea!"
"You're a really attractive girl. Why wouldn't he? Really. I'm sure likes you."

My doctor has a way with words

I had to get an MRI done a bit ago. My doctor was concerned I had "neurological problems" (she kept saying that, "neurological problems") causing my headaches/ eye aches/ all too frequent sickness.

"What kind of neurological problems are you talking about?"
"Well, for instance if you had MS [multiple sclerosis] it would show up on the MRI a certain way."
"What? I might have MS??"
"We're just being complete."

Right. I thankfully do not have any neurological problems. I do have some something-cysts in the something-passage that is somewhere behind my eyes/forehead. Now she is sending me to an ear nose and throat doctor.

"It'll just cost you a co-pay, unless they decide to do a procedure."
"A procedure?"
"Well, they might go in and look at the cysts."
"How do they do that?"
"They go in through your nose to look at them and see if you need surgery."
"Surgery??"
"We're just being thorough, don't be concerned."